2003-10-24 -
Walking through the filter of the night i can sense the last bits of my strength�s fight strain off. i know "a strong wind could blow me away" and i can feel my skin growing slack and my expression gaunt. I feel nothing but her lacking and i am so.. so not caring about me. emptiness growing like wild fire in my bones twisting and splitting with the power of a thousand year longing and i come in from the cold and see my hands are blue i cannot maintain my complexion in this atmosphere anymore i think the hospital might be nice for this kind of of physical but it is just a symptom of the deeper disease called missing, and i know i am hurting myself more but i am so not caring about me
i am pushing myself away in shame
.trip. - .fall. - .bounce. - .ashes ashes . - .we all. - .fall down.
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............................................................................................I trail off in one sentence out of five
..........................................................................and the rest of the time I just.....
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