I invented a dance it is called the velociraptor.

2004-02-28 - 12:19 a.m.

i dub this entry: Callous sandwich

Know i know i said that i was gonna change this shit but alas i suck so i am reverting to my pseudo poetic rants for the time being....then a little bit of babbling call it a racemic mixture if you will.

First note i got married well union-ed and it technically doesn't even count here at home [but from here on out I will just be referring to it as marriage and thus I will sometimes call her my wife... cuz that's just how I want it to be so deal.] We eloped so yeah that was awesome and i am soooo fucking happy i could explode...yes explode he he yes you will see I�ll get you and your little dog...nah

Well i would write about it but my baby says its a private affair and i agree and since this diary is totally not private yeah�well we got married (union-ed) on presidents day hmmm we i was going to use it as a surprise on valentines day but i suck and i left after we got in a fight.... yeah that�s how much i suck i ditched my girl the day before valentines day.. yeah yeah hiss and boo me all you want just know i can't hear you and you're hissing at an inanimate object and people will hear you and think you're crazy...like me...but anyway i came back on V-day and we had fun... again private fun...role playing...shhhh don't tell her i said that...ehh you probably don't even know what i am talking about i never seem to type coherently on diaryland anyway...

Moral of the story i suck, got married because i suck well and it was presidents day hmm Monica? never mind..

*Take note i also when out of town last weekend to go see a concert...i suck ass. seriously not even a week after getting married (union-ed) i leave again... remember this for later�when it is pertinent.

third note I wrote a lot this week despite the fact that i had sooo much to do. Last week after me and my love got married we were like rabbits. But this week i had so much shit to do and i was tired and still had work to do (i.e. so i never slept in order to finish the damn work). So she took it personally, as if i was choosing work over her. On Thursday (after not really sleeping together since Monday) she was getting really annoyed. She asked, she shouldn't have to ask me in my opinion she should just get it. normally it's a privilege, not that i am great or anything, but rather she is. She's my friggin' wife i mean what the fuck? I have like a sacred duty to service her. It's sad that she had to ask... and that i again turned her down (yes i truly i suck.. actually i can hear you hissing now). So after i said i couldn't (work ugh) she said what the fuck i mean you have barely touched me all week. I said I�m sorry hun but i really have to finish this. And with that callous remark she left. I felt immediately shitty as i should have. I really hadn't been paying attention to her.. i really can't imagine how that must have made her feel. She came back over on today or actually yesterday (friday).. i should have gone to her but again i mixed up my priorities...her first then work in my present state of mind.. i decided that I had to make remedy the situation. I went to bed with her and ditched a class... oooo big fuckin whoop... but yea it is for me i don't miss class when i am happy..... and i am happy.. but whatever... so we made da love and i played her a song i wrote for her (i was saving it for our one month anniversary but i felt it need to come prematurely...hmmm?) on my baritone ukulele (not cum on the uke you sickos i was playing the song on the uku but you probably thought that because your probably not as immature as me well anyway). So played my song for her on my baritone ukulele with my roommate (because she can't play the uke (cause she sucks)) played the accompanying part on the guitar. My hunny bunny loved it. She said "Roo Roo bear you make me horny" (me! I�m Roo Roo bear! not you! get away from my hunny bunny�if you're near her..). mmmmm hunny bunny & roo roo bear sandwich mmm... yea so later today/yesterday i came home from school and she said she was going home for the weekend�sadness.. I told her i wish she wouldn't go and she just said "I'll be back on Sunday" frowny face.. but i know that she is giving me a taste of my own medicine...it's fuckin nasty shit you need like 6 pounds of sugar which in its self is nasty) to make it taste tolerable.. oh well i know now that i just need to make more of an effort. That's for sure...

Well yeah i wrote some crap one is about some mixture of feelings i have about...stuff. and the other is about a certain angry individual in my life.

Mixed feeling goes first:

Untitled

The girl who wanted to be of God.

From the crucifix in her spine

how unintelligible seems her neglect

of the ladders that agonize her legs

the shaking in her hands from

touching too many heads

healing without ability

rips her a grave from bed.

And forsaken by those same souls

which reached from the cages

and turned upon release

saying "die for our sins"

hold us in your Hearts.

one grown from the soils of

a painful rooting as a typecast daughter

buried deep in the laurels,

told the Wellness swells like the shores of the damning flow.

she feels only the Dust of broken Dreams

Piled on the shelves of Sleep.

These books make it stay at bay.

The wise woman whispers as a child in like company:

Realize your fire martyr what makes you burn in that square.

Both could do well to listen

to the wind behind the rain.

Little tails shake a demand:

Go into the corner and think not of a white rabbit,

Drowning in the mud where you lost your watch.

Screaming familiarity into the darkness

see the light in your suffication

Dear mudskipper, dear bird, broken wing

Your olive branch is unrequited

in the smoldering embers' dust falls round your feet.

Your wet livelyness disrupts the pattern

Black watch cross hatchings that build this cage around you

your blessed praises.

Second the one about a certain someone who is very angry all the time:

Titled: Carrion Crampon

You are not native to this glory land

with hemlock laced all round your hand.

Your bird screams like a dying Child

in the Angry Shards of your Past.

which you draw with permanace into your current mission

a crusade for the deep dark apples,

look into their reflection,

in your blue green eyes.

see how they Flicker like a candle in a fans Electric breeze,

with more time spent in their waning you find

the drum beats Stagger in your heart's snow covered decline.

your Anger delays synaptic rally letters

Why do you wait for their reply?

When here now you sit in these bottlenecks still,

cold in your comfort as a carrion crampon.

.trip. - .fall. - .bounce. - .ashes ashes . - .we all. - .fall down.

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Don't Make Me Hug Myself, I'll Do It!


*HUGS* TOTAL! give lesbfriends6 more *HUGS*
Get hugs of your own

............................................................................................I trail off in one sentence out of five

..........................................................................and the rest of the time I just.....

.......................................................................................................................mumble...............................................

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