I invented a dance it is called the velociraptor.

Don't be a ghost... leave a note, comment or hug below... thanks! AND IF you think you're too important to leave a comment or hug or what have you, you should know you aren't... so Ghost traffic go away. If you don't like what you see either A) close your eyes and pray it disappears or B) get over it. If you don't have anything nice or at least constructive to say please leave my diary now. The nice and/or constructive comment/sentiment/etc doesn't necessarily have to be about me or this crap of a journal... so whatever...be nice. OH and "fall" will lead you to older entries...

2003-09-19 - 2:53 a.m.

I am miniscule and pretensious never clever and modest as i aspire to be

this has be my lifes jerking

i fall short like so may things

but i was not equipped with a "there is tomorrow" mechanism

for there is tomorrow

and it is the same gray today

as i walk shamefully in

i am prone to self destruct

and because i can't undo the damage i have done

i will fill my purpose in a blaze of relief

i am the scarlet letter you wear on your chest

to know me is to hate me

to know me is to endure me for all the time that has past

between now and the last time i tried to turn back the clock

to 8:21 AM june 4, 1984

God foresaken year, god foresaken time

but mostly a worthless child

a useless unacceptable, unadaptable, unsatisfiable,

unagreeable, unhappy, unintelligent, uncreative, smear on the beauty that is the world

a bleep on the radar that is so easily ignored,

ignored so, ignore me,

i only wake out of shame

i only live out of pity

in this world survival of the most adaptable

lovable and acceptable

i am not

any of the above

send me far away

ship my lifeless body back to the hospital

no one will claim it anyway

i am a speck insignificant to other specks

because who the fuck feels the depression of happiness anyway

You are the only one who helps me to be cured of this lonely pale

washes off the pain

you ease me into myself again

and for that there aren't sufficient words

when your here everything is alright it's not my fault

you tell me to carry just my own weight

but when your gone

its only fear was you...this weight

it kicks me to the ground

for breathing for standing upright

i need believe

i can love myself... myself.

.trip. - .fall. - .bounce. - .ashes ashes . - .we all. - .fall down.

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So I noticed a shit load of people tracking internet dirt through my journal but not leaving me any comments or notes...so hey if your gonna click/sneeze and wipe your dirty internet germs all over my lapel the least you could do is leave me friggin note or comment... I don't like ghost traffic. Its not polite. And for those of you who leave me a comment, note, and/or guestbook entry thank you in advance! Don't have time you say? Well, then you could just give me a hug (see above). That only takes a second. Thanks!

............................................................................................I trail off in one sentence out of five

..........................................................................and the rest of the time I just.....

.......................................................................................................................mumble...............................................

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moon phases